When I woke up the next morning, the first thing I did was to slip into the bathroom with the PT strip I had bought the previous day. I sat on the toiler sit and peed on the stick. I waited for some minutes to prove my suspicion. I saw two red lines, indicating that I was pregnant. I screamed.

Tunde rushed into the bathroom and held me tight. He took the stick from me; he saw two red lines too, but he didn't know what they meant. He took the PT strip pack from the top of the sink where I'd place it. He read the instructions and realised what was going on.

“So two red lines means positive?" he asked and sighed heavily. He began to sweat profusely.

He took me into his arms to console me but I cried the more.

“Tunde, I'm finished." I said in tears, "My father will disown me, if he doesn't kill me first."

“Pamilerin, take it easy; we'll figure it out.”

“You can't understand. I have brought shame upon myself and my family. My mum is a deaconess and my dad is an elder in Church. I'm the first child of my parents. What example will I set for my siblings?” I wept uncontrollably. 

“I understand you very clearly. We are both not ready for this; just put yourself together.” 

“You are a guy; I'm going to be the object of ridicule, not you!” I said amidst tears. 

He wiped my tears with his soft hands. 

“Babe, take your bath and let's prepare for school; it's almost 7AM and we both have 8 O'clock lectures.” 

“Go ahead and take your bath; let me stay at home and mourn my woes.” 

“Let's stay at home together then, I can't leave you all alone, not like this.” 

“Don't miss lectures because of me; don't worry, I won't commit suicide. I know better than that. Suicide is a direct flight to hell.” 

“I'm not leaving; we'll stay here together.” 

We were like that for hours, we didn't bath or eat. We were both engrossed in our thoughts. He sent a text message to the class rep to inform him that we wouldn't be coming to class that very day. One thing for sure, the whole class noticed our absence.

We remained quiet in the room without saying a word to each other. I thought of so many things. Should I run away? But to where? 

“Pamilerin!" He broke the silence.

“Yes!”

“What do you want us to do about this pregnancy?” he asked.

I wish I was dreaming; I just want to wake up and realise all these was just a dream.

“What do you want us to do about it?” I tossed his question back to him.

“We have two options: it's either we keep it or abort it.“

"Huh! Let me think and weigh my options.” I said.

“We have to decide fast.”

“I'm keeping it.” 

“Pamilerin, in as much as I'm happy that you are carrying my child, you know very well that we are not ready for this; we can't take care of this child."

“What are you insinuating? 

“Abortion! That's the only option we have.” 

“Abortion?! Murdering an innocent child?!” I sighed heavily. 

“Pamilerin, I'm ashamed of myself. This is my seed we are talking about here; I want to see my flesh and blood too, but I can't bring a child into this world when I'm not ready.” 

“What if something goes wrong in the process?” 

“Whatever happens, I will stand by your side; I will never leave you. I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. That, I promise you.”
 
“Tunde, I hope the tune of the music won't change tomorrow. Hope it's not just an empty promise?” 

“Do you want me to swear or something?”
 
“No! You don't have to,” I said, although deep down within me, I wished I could make him swear an oath, but I know it isn't right.
 
I sighed heavily and picked up my phone to dial my cousin's number. Joy is a close and trusted cousin; we always have each other's back. She once had an abortion and she confided in me.

“Joy! I'm pregnant,” I said, immediately she picked up her phone. 

“Preg what? Pamilerin why? You should have been more careful. I told you about my experience and it wasn't a good one.” She lamented. 

I noticed she was already close to tears from the sound of her voice. 

“God! I wish this never happened to you,” she said sniffing. 

“Don't cry because of me, I brought this upon myself.” 

“Let's keep this baby. I know daddy would be mad at you, but he can't kill you. I promise to stand by your side."

“I don't want it!”

“This is one big guilt you'll live with for the rest of your life, do you want that?!”

“Joy, that's the only option I have.” 

“What about your boyfriend?” she asked. 

“We are on the same page,” I replied. 

“OK. I took some pills,” she said and gave me the name of the pills. 

“Thanks, I'm grateful.”

“Please take care of yourself and keep me updated.”

“I will. Thanks once again,” I said and dropped the call. 

“What did she say?” Tunde asked with so much curiosity in his eyes.

“She said she used some pills. But if I'm going to have an abortion, that's not an option for me."

“Why? But she used it and it worked!”
 
“Tunde, I'm not using pills! What if it has side effects?" I asked. "Take me to a hospital; I will foot the bills if you can't. This is my life we are talking about!” I yelled.
 
“I didn't say I won't pay the bills, but..."

“I'm going to a hospital tomorrow!” I interrupted.

“Do you have any hospital in mind?” he asked.

“No I don‟t. God will direct me” 

Did I just say God! I couldn't believe I mentioned God in this. If I had obeyed his commandment in the first place, I wouldn't have found myself in this mess. 

“OK. Anything you decide,” he said. 

He stood up and went into the bathroom to take his bath. He then proceeded to the kitchen to prepare some food for us. He encouraged me to take my bath too, which I obeyed.

That night, sleep eluded me. What if I die... what if I did not make it? I thought of so many things while I lay there waiting for morning to come.

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