I went to his house on Saturday morning, expecting the worse. I got there and sat in the sitting room like a complete stranger. He was in his room upstairs, so I waited for him to come downstairs; he knew I was around.

He joined me in the sitting room and sat directly opposite me.

“Hi!” I said.

“Hi!”

“How was your week?” he asked. “Fine and yours?”

“Not bad. You didn’t bother to call me during the week.” he said coldly.

“I thought you needed some time to your self, so I decided to give you some space.”

"I’m hungry,” he said.

I wonder what that statement had to do with me, so I kept quiet.

“I said I’m hungry, I want you to cook for me,” he said sternly.

“Daniel, did you asked me to come here just to cook? I think we have more pressing issues to discuss.”

“Oh! I’m now Daniel? I can’t remember the last time you called me Daniel.”

“Sorry, I mean…”

He ignored me and went upstairs. He came back with his wallet, opened it and handed over some cash to me.

“Here is 10,000 Naira. Buy all the necessary ingredients you need.”

“What ingredients?” I asked, still surprised at his drama.

“I want pounded yam and vegetable soup.”

“Pounded yam!?” I wonder what game he’s trying to play here.

“Daniella, don’t just stand there. It’s almost noon and I haven't taken anything today.”

“What kind of a man is this for God sake? We are in the middle of a crisis and all he’s asking for is food,” I thought.

“I can’t pound,” I said.

“That’s a lie! The last time I came to your house, I met you and one of your siblings pounding.”

You can get an Ekiti man out of Ekiti but you cannot get Ekiti out of him. I wonder why they love pounded yam so much.

“There’s no mortar,” I said.

“My gateman – Papilo – got one for me yesterday,” he grinned.

“So this is actually not a joke. You already have a mortar in this house.” I said.

I almost curse that gateman of his.

“The car key is upstairs. Go get it and take the car with you,” he said and switched on the plasma TV

“I’ll take a cab,” I said annoyingly. Imagine he went upstairs to get his wallet and couldn’t bring the keys along with him.

“Your choice,” he said.

I picked my purse and phone from my handbag and left.

****

I came back an hour and half later. I met him watching a football match. I went to the kitchen hoping he’ll join me but he did not. I can not come and kill myself, so I called the gate man.

“Papilo!" I called out.

“Ma! I’m coming ma,” he answered.

I ordered him to lock the gate and join me in the kitchen. Shebi he knows how to buy mortar right! I thought Daniel will send him back to his post but he said nothing.

I set the table when I was through. I checked the time, 2:45pm. I told him I was done. He settled down on the dinning table. I turned back to leave when he called me.

“Daniella, where are you going? Won’t you eat?”

“I did not make provision for myself. I only pounded two wraps and I’ve served your gate man the other wrap.”

“And why is that?”

“Dee, I’m not here to eat.”

“Really! So what are you here for? Come back here and sit, we’ll eat this together.”

There’s no point arguing with him, he won’t let me be if I don’t join him. And more so, I want to know where all these stunt he’s pulling is heading towards.

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